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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22425403">Painted Red</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awkward_Amateur/pseuds/Awkward_Amateur'>Awkward_Amateur</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Suits (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abused Harvey, Bad Parenting, Caring Donna, Caring Mike, Child Abuse, Dark Past, Gen, Hurt Harvey, Hurt/Comfort, Lily is a horrible person in this fic, Repressed Memories, Sad, all major characters will come into play, also on ff.net, anger issues, caring jessica, donna knows kind of, give harvey a hug, harvey needs help, mike finds out, will have comfort</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:00:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,545</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22425403</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awkward_Amateur/pseuds/Awkward_Amateur</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Harvey wasn't a liar, but when he spoke about his childhood he maybe skewed things a bit. When Harvey's mother makes a surprise visit, he may have no choice but to reveal the truth. At least, he won't as long as Mike is on the case.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mike Ross &amp; Harvey Specter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. She Took His Hand So Gently</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A/N: Firstly I also posted this on fanfiction.net as NotTheLoseChesters. This story takes place in the early seasons after they've gotten high together but before the serious stuff happens. Lily is obviously portrayed very differently in this fic than in the show, but I honestly think this version makes sense. Personally I think there isn’t nearly enough Harvey whump in the suits fandom so I’ve set out to rectify that. Don’t worry though, Mike will be a central character as well, and the rest of the cast should definitely make an appearance. That being said, I cannot promise regular updates as my muse is often fleeting. However, the more of you that enjoy this, the more likely I am to update ASAP. I have some plans for where this goes but nothing else written yet. I don’t think this will involve a ship but if it does it will most likely end up being Marvey. Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“There you go Harvey. Just like that. I know it hurts baby but that’s how you know it’s gonna turn out beautiful. Don’t you want to make something beautiful?”</p><p>He was running late. Not typical Mike late, late late, and it wasn’t his fault, it really wasn’t except for the fact that it one hundred percent absolutely was. He’d meant to set an alarm, he really had, but somewhere in his Redbull-hazed mind the thought must have slipped away. So maybe it wasn’t his fault after all. Either way, Harvey was going to be pissed. And not typical Harvey pissed, pissed pissed. Mike wondered what Harvey would do if he explained that he’d intended to be on time, and isn’t it the thought that counts?<br/>
Mike was mulling over all the ways Harvey could fire him when he collided full speed into an innocent woman. In retrospect, he probably should’ve spent less time mulling and more time taking in his surroundings. On the other hand, the force of the impact had knocked an autumn leaf from his hair and the last thing he needed was to walk into the bullpen covered in foliage.<br/>
He was knocked from his thoughts by the sound of laughter. The woman he’d knocked over had stood up and was giggling like a preteen. She quickly composed herself as he looked over, and he took her in quickly. She was middle-aged, he would guess mid-sixties, but her eyes were bright and Mike was seriously considering inquiring about her moisturizing routine, as her skin was smooth and clear. Instead, he began apologizing profusely.<br/>
“Shit! I’m sorry! Are you okay! Fuck! Sorry about the profanity, ma'am. And the whole running into you thing. Sorry about that too. Just sorry in general. And I’m rambling aren’t I.”<br/>
She laughed again.<br/>
“Don’t worry, Dear, I’m fine. Besides, sometimes we all need a bit of a push to jumpstart our day.” She winked at him and he decided that he liked her immediately. He still felt like an asshole though.<br/>
“Now that I’ve sufficiently humiliated myself is there anything I can help you with? Are you here for a meeting?”<br/>
“No I’m actually here to visit my son. I haven’t been to visit in a while and he certainly never visits me so I thought I’d stop in and surprise him.”<br/>
Mike could relate, he barely had time to visit his own kitchen, much less family. Which you don’t have, his brain helpfully reminded him.<br/>
“Let me guess, he’s an associate? We don’t even have time to brush our teeth in the mornings!”<br/>
The woman laughed.<br/>
“In that case, I hope the firm has a good dental plan.”<br/>
Mike smiled widely, fully aware that it made him look insane.<br/>
“So shall I escort you to the bullpen?”<br/>
“No actually my son’s not an associate, I believe he’s a junior partner?”<br/>
Mike cocked his head and began analyzing her face for clues as to who’s mother she could be. He didn’t know many of the junior partners very well, and most of them were way too old to have such a young-looking mother anyway. She spoke before he could figure it out.<br/>
“His name is Harvey Specter. Do you know him?”<br/>
Mike blinked. Harvey. Harvey’s mother. That was impossible. Mike knew intellectually that Harvey had to have parents and he knew from the time they got high together that Harvey’s relationship with his mother wasn’t great, but none of this really prepared him for the woman standing before him. Harvey Specter’s mother. Harvey. Specter’s. Mother.<br/>
“Uhhmm, ahem, I’m his associate.”<br/>
“Oh that’s perfect dear, would you be so kind as to show me to his office.”<br/>
Mike nodded blankly, still in shock. He walked dazedly to Harvey’s office. The woman - Harvey’s mother - trailing behind him. 

As he approached Donna’s desk the redhead looked up, and immediately spit coffee from her mouth. She looked shocked for a moment or two and then the shock was replaced with a look Donna reserved for only the worst of the worst that walked through the doors of Pearson Hardman. The true scum. She leveled this gaze at the woman behind Mike, and then, much to his horror, at Mike himself.<br/>
“Lily,” she greeted coldly.<br/>
“Donna-” Mike suddenly felt the strange need to defend himself but Donna cut him off before he could really say anything.<br/>
“Harvey is in a meeting.”<br/>
Mike shivered at Donna’s threatening tone but the woman, apparently named Lily, didn’t seem the least bit bothered.<br/>
“I’ll wait.”<br/>
She sauntered into Harvey’s office and perched on his couch, leaving behind a bewildered Mike at the mercy of a murderous Donna.<br/>
“‘Donna...” he tried again.<br/>
“Here’s what you are going to do. Find Harvey once the meeting’s done and tell him the investment bankers downstairs set off another fire alarm and the whole building being evacuated.”<br/>
“But-”<br/>
“Tell him Jessica’s pissed and I’ve gone home and you think the two of you should probably avoid returning to the office for the day. You’re a terrible liar so chances are he won’t believe you.”<br/>
“I’m not a terrible liar!” Mike protested.<br/>
“Mike, focus. He’ll call me and I’ll corroborate your story. He’ll still be suspicious but he won’t return to the office, not with an angry Jessica and no brilliant secretary to hide behind. He’ll grill you for info and you’ll want to crack.”<br/>
“I won’t-”<br/>
Donna raised an eyebrow.<br/>
“Ok, shutting up now.”<br/>
“I don’t care what you tell him, as long as you don’t mention his mother. Think you can handle that, puppy?”<br/>
Mike frowned at the nickname.<br/>
“I know Harvey has a bad history with his mom, but don’t you think we should at least tell him she’s here. You know, let him make the decision himself?”<br/>
Donna smiled widely but her eyes spelled out murder.<br/>
“Are you questioning me Mike?”<br/>
“Nope, not questioning. Shutting up, and doing as told.”<br/>
“Good. Text me once you’ve talked to him.”<br/>
Mike chewed on his lip, more than a bit worried about the prospect of lying to Harvey.<br/>
“What about Jessica?”<br/>
“I’ll handle Jessica.”<br/>
“And what about her?” Make gestured to Lily, still perched elegantly on Harvey’s leather couch.<br/>
“Mike. You do your job and I’ll handle the rest. Got it?”<br/>
Mike swallowed hard.<br/>
“Got it.”<br/>
And with one last look at the woman in Harvey’s office, who he now couldn’t help but note was the spitting image of her son, Mike turned tail and headed back towards the elevators.</p><p>“Don’t cry, baby. You know I love you. Mommy will always love you Harv. You’re Mommy’s beautiful boy.”</p><p>TBC</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Her Skin Was Soft and White</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Donna confronts Lily and Harvey finds out the truth.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the long wait between posts. I can’t promise they will be faster from now on, but I can say nothing fuels writing like positive reviews! Thank you so much to those of you who left kudos and/or bookmarked this fic. I'm enjoying writing it so far and can't wait to see what you think of the new chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“Daddy wouldn’t understand, baby. This is a special thing just for Mommy and Harvey. It’s our little secret. You can keep a secret, can’t you, baby?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Donna had only met Lily twice. The first time she hadn’t known who she was. She was just a woman Donna ran into at the coffee shop across from the courthouse. The worst part was that Donna had liked her. Liked her enough that they’d ended up getting lunch together later that day. And it wasn’t until that lunch that Donna found out she was Harvey’s mother. Even then, she’d liked her. She hadn’t known what she did now. She couldn't have. Harvey had never mentioned his mother but that wasn’t unusual for Harvey. He kept his work life and his personal life separate. Took pride in it even. So yes Donna had been happy to meet his mother, and overjoyed to find that they actually got along quite well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later, when she’d told him that she’d had lunch with his mother, Harvey had been angry. He’d yelled and ranted and none of it made any sense, he wasn’t even talking about the subject just yelling about nothing. But the yelling wasn’t the worst part. Donna could handle an angry Harvey. Hell, handling an angry Harvey was practically her job description most days. But after the anger he’d gone quiet. Really quiet. He barely said a word to her for the next few weeks. When he spoke, it wasn’t curt or snappy. He didn’t seem angry anymore, certainly not at her at least. But there was something so clearly out of place. So fundamentally wrong, that Donna had felt certain her world was ending.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’d called Marcus. Marcus had told her what she knew now, which was admittedly still not much. But it was enough to know that she never wanted to see Lily again. And that if she did, she was going to do everything in her power to keep that woman away from Harvey. And if she got to take some of her anger out in the process, then so be it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The second time had been right after their move to Pearson Hardman. Donna had come into work one day to find Harvey stone-faced and silent. She spent a frantic twenty minutes trying to stealthily figure out what the hell was going on when she noticed his hands. He was running his hands slowly up and down his arms, as if trying to warm himself. It was something she suddenly remembered him doing for a few weeks after that first time she’d met Lily. And suddenly the behavior was all too familiar. All of it. And Donna knew that </span>
  <em>
    <span>she</span>
  </em>
  <span> was involved.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took a lot of digging and a lot of called in favors, but eventually Donna managed to find out that Lily was staying at a hotel in the city. A quick cab ride and a long </span>
  <em>
    <span>conversation</span>
  </em>
  <span> later, Donna was certain Harvey would never have to deal with that woman ever again. Apparently Donna had been wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If she was being honest, Donna wasn’t sure not telling Harvey was really the best thing to do. Sure, she’d seen what happened to him when she visited, how it completely destroyed him, but she wasn’t quite sure what lengths Lily was willing to go to to see her son. What if Donna was just driving her to approach him later, when Donna wasn’t around to run interference. Hopefully Mike would stay with Harvey, make sure to keep an eye on him. God knows he needed it. In the meantime, Donna was going to handle the woman in front of her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mike was waiting outside when Harvey emerged from the restaurant. He looked..well..Harvey would say he looked frazzled but Specters didn’t use words like frazzled. Disheveled. That would do. Mike looked disheveled. His tie was off-center, his hair was a mess, his suit clearly needed to be pressed. All in all not an uncommon look for his associate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought I told you to wait at the office?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harvey was hungry. The hot dog cart was an appetizing choice but last time he’d had nothing but hot dogs for a week straight Mike had ratted him out to Donna and she’d put him on some ‘healthy eating’ plan. Damn kid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, uh, well, the office isn’t really..available right now..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kid was nervous. Maybe as nervous as the early days, when he couldn’t even win at housing court. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Housing court.</span>
  </em>
  <span> What had the puppy done now?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you having a stroke?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha ha, very funny Harvey, I just-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll take that as a no, which means either stop sputtering like a moron and tell me whatever it is you have to say, or get the hell back to the briefs you’re supposed to be proofing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that Harvey took off in the direction of the hot dog stand, leaving Mike to trail after him. Who cared if Mike told Donna, he wasn’t afraid of her... Harvey suddenly made the completely not-Donna-related decision to get a salad from some cafe instead. As he mentally course corrected, he felt an insistent tug on his arm. Mike. Of course it was Mike.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Harvey couldn’t help but be a bit snappy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t go back to the office.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And why is that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The, uh, the investment bankers set off the-the fire alarm and uh, well Jessica’s angry and Donna said to just go home...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harvey paused and scrutinized his associate. The kid was a terrible liar. Clearly something else was going on. But, he couldn’t exactly be sure what it was. What was at the office that he didn’t want Harvey to see? What the hell did Mike do?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s at the office?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What-nothing. Nothing uhh, nothing new.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harvey raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean uhm... I uh.. Donna?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Donna.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mike just looked at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mike, Donna what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Call her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harvey opened his mouth to argue but decided against it. He clearly wasn’t getting anywhere with the kid. Maybe Donna would be more informative.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Donna sat across from Lily, in one of Harvey’s hyper-masculine (overcompensating) leather chairs. She’d intended to come in and give the woman a piece of her mind, but now that she was sitting there, Donna couldn’t think of a single thing to say. True, Marcus had told her a bit about his mother, and Donna was able to figure out a bit more just by observing Harvey. However, she still only had a vague idea of the whole situation. Not so vague that she didn’t want to kill the woman. But vague enough that she wasn’t sure what she should and shouldn’t say. How much of what Donna thought she knew was fact, and how much was an overactive imagination that tended to assume the worst?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Donna, I know you don’t like me very much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> was an understatement. Donna barely kept herself from snorting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But believe it or not I like you very much. You’ve been great for my son, and, well, I’d like to thank you for that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Donna shifted uncomfortably. What was she supposed to say? Your welcome? Your welcome for tending all the wounds you created? For mending what you broke? Your welcome for making sure he ate regularly and slept every night? For being there for him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lily seemed surprised by the question. Donna herself was a little surprised by it, but now that she thought about it, it was the main thing that was bothering her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to see my son. It’s been so long Donna. I just want to see him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Donna swallowed. Her brain told her there was more going on. Some sort of secret plot or scheme that would tear Harvey down to a place she couldn’t rebuild him from. But her brain had been wrong before. Rarely, but it had. And could she really continue to keep this woman from seeing her son. Even if she was willing to do that to Lily, could she do it to Harvey? She knew he’d hate her for making this decision for him. But, let him hate her. Hate she could deal with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Harvey is incredibly busy right now with a high profile merger and he can’t take time off for a little family reunion.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh no, I know he’s busy, I don’t need a full day, maybe a nice lunch. I think it would be good for him. He does have a tendency to skip meals.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lily’s eyes twinkled fondly. Donna’s resolve slipped slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve got that right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Donna got up to leave, considering the conversation resolved, but Lily spoke once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know what you think of me Donna. What you think I did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lily walked over to Donna and took her hand. Donna could feel the frailty in the older woman’s hands, the softness. She had tears in her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise you Donna, I never hurt him. Never. I don’t know where any of you got that idea, but I would die before I let anything happen to my son. I love him. I know he hasn’t forgiven me for what happened with his father and the divorce, but I'm so so sorry for all that. I never meant for him to be caught up in it. I never meant to lose him. Please Donna, let me have one more chance with him. Let me make things right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mike fiddled with his watch. He still wasn’t used to wearing one, though he’d had it for over a year now. He could never just let it lay still, something Harvey was endlessly nagging him about. He always played with it when he was nervous, and boy was he nervous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harvey was leaning against the car, phone to his ear waiting for Donna to pick up. Mike had no idea how she planned to convince him nothing was amiss, but when it came to Donna, Mike had no doubt she possessed many skills he was of yet unaware. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Donna? Mike said you had something to tell me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mike winced internally at the lecture he’d certainly be receiving from Donna later. Harvey stood silently for a while, and Mike wished he could hear Donna’s side of the conversation. After a few solid minutes of silence, Harvey hung up the phone without so much as a goodbye and turned away so that Mike couldn’t see his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harvey?” he tried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Again, Harvey was silent for a moment. When he did speak his voice was tired, and small. </span>
</p><p><span>“Go home Mike.”</span><span><br/></span> <span>“What?”</span></p><p>
  <span>Harvey didn’t respond. He just brought up a hand to run over his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” Mike tried again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wanted the day off, you’ve got it. Just... go home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The scars were faded. Not so much that they weren’t noticed but enough that, in a dark room with enough alcohol running through their veins, a potential partner wouldn’t feel the need to comment on them. In the light of a day however, he kept them hidden. It was easy, in a way that reflected the sad state of his life. At work he always wore a suit. At the gym, he’d taken to wearing a hoodie instead of just a tee. And New York was a cold place, he could get away with wearing long sleeves even in summer. Maybe, if it had been just a little bit harder to hide the evidence of what she’d done, he would have told someone. As it was though, he was alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harvey was relaxing against the leather couch in his apartment, staring at the TV and trying to drown out the memories. He hated what they did to him. The weakness they made him feel. He wasn’t weak. He wasn’t a child. He</span>
  <em>
    <span> wasn’t.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He was on his second glass of scotch. He shouldn’t be drinking, really, he tried not to drink when his mind went to dark places. It never ended up well. But he had two whole days ahead of him. A whole weekend free from anyone who would ask him questions or smother him with their poorly disguised pity. He didn’t want to spend that time caught up in his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thought about calling Marcus. About telling him that she was back. Except as far as he knew, Marcus had mostly forgiven their mother. In some ways he couldn’t blame him. Lily had never touched Marcus with anything but kindness. She’d never spoken any slurs or insults. She hadn’t made him do anything he hadn’t wanted to, beyond the typical parental things. Marcus only really blamed her for the divorce, which had been enough to keep them apart for a few years, but no longer. Marcus knew on some level that she’d done something to Harvey when he was young. But it was an abstract concept. Something he associated with Harvey more than he ever had with her. But that was okay really. It wasn’t like he wanted his little brother to see him as weak. Better to be the black sheep. Better to be the selfish asshole keeping the family apart. Better not to talk to him really.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harvey wondered what Donna was going to do. When he’d found out that Marcus had told her his suspicions, Harvey had been pissed. He’d almost flown to Boston that day to beat the crap out of his snitch of a brother. He hadn’t though. He wasn’t prone to violence. Really he wasn’t. Anger, sure, but the actual physical part of it was something he’d had to learn. Something he’d become good at so no one could ever hurt him. Never again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Donna would see the whole thing as black and white. Either Lily had abused him and should be cut out of his life completely, or she hadn’t and should be welcomed with open arms. But it wasn’t so black and white. She hadn’t been a cruel mother. She’d taken him to little league games and cheered from the stands. She’d baked homemade cakes for every one of his birthday parties, and bought him his first guitar. She’d taught him to dance before prom, and told him he better treat his date right because no son of hers would grow up anything less than a gentleman. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’d held him. Late at night. When he got scared or sad. She’d held him and wiped away his tears and told him he was special.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s not for Marcus either, Harv. Remember, Mommy loves you best. You’re my special boy. You’ve got so much beauty inside you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>TBC</b>
</p>
  </div></div>
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